Yesterday I was hanging out with me friend at the river, and I was vibing, just floating on my back in the water with my arms spread. She said “lol you look like a corpse” I replied “I’m an Opheliapilled Ladyofshallotcel” and she just stared at me 😔
Diver convince octopus to trade his plastic cup for a seashell
imagine if a fuckin……. giant alien just showed up and stuck a huge hand in front of your face and then proceeded to offer you three different houses and wouldn’t stop until you moved out of your old shitty apartment and then helped you fuckin move
The window to my bedroom is connected to the patio, but the door to access the patio is in the living room. Lovey likes to look out the window, and he also likes to sit on the patio. But he must not have realized that the two patios are the same patio until one day I was sitting outside and he went into my room to see me still on the patio. Ever since, he would run back and fourth and meow at me from different angles, no matter where I am. Must still be novel for him.
do you ever watch videos of youtubers reading their own crappy wattpad x self insert fics and think to yourself man i would love to explain the sold to one direction trope to these kids, it would absolutely break them
it was the morning after the big move (a/n idk where she moved too lol) and you swept your messy dark brown hair that was slightly wavy with sun kissed blonde streaks in it up into a messy bun and swiped mascara across your thick lashes that brought out your shining blue ocean colored orbs before throwing on the large frumpy sweatshirt that i had thrown on the floor the night before. i heard the doorbell ring from downstairs. “y/n!” your mom yelled “get down here quick!” “what is it mom?” i yelled back, she was so annoying sometimes. “your new owners are here,” she stated. “my- what?” you stammered, perfect pink lips opening in shock. “yes honey, how else do you think i was able to pay for this house and my alcohol addition? now open the door” you opened the door and saw them on the doorstep, one direction. they looked mostly bored but harry opened his arms and gave you a brilliant smile, his pearly white teeth glistening in the sun. “hey princess get your stuff.”
